i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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