Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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