there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
