shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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