Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
