why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
