Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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