Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
