Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom