thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
smell my finger.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop