You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high