Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize