Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
