well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize