just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
