im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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