there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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