I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
