I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
