we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
