everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
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He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
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Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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