Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
