so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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