I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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