too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
