just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He shit in the fireplace
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
