twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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