Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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