Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
