I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
