Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
