Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
