when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just want nice things and good sex
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
