hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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