He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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