i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
