alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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