We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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