i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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