hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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