Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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