i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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