another moral hangover. fuck.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize