Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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