watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i believe in u and ur pee
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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