At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize