Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
