Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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