Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
