I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
