Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
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It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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