Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
