Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
