how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize