No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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