hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
