it's too hot outside to masturbate.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
