I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
