We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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