We're facebook friends in real life
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
