i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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