i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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