Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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