C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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