He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize