dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
