Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
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did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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