I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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