I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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