There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
