I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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